I was born on December 24,1837 in Munich, Bavaria as Duchess Elisabeth Amalie Eugenie of Bavaria. I was the fifth child born to Duke Maximilian Joseph, my father, and Princess Ludovika, my mother. We lived in a beautiful castle called Possenhofen Castle where I grew up with my siblings. Unlike other princesses, my childhood consisted of running around and horse-playing. While other royals my age would have private tutors and learn about the government they would rule one day, I learned how to ride horses and play in open fields. If I were asked of whom I favored more, I would’ve said my father. Because I raised like a country girl instead of a disciplined, well-mannered princess, my strict and firm mother would always force me into a life of aristocracy. My father, on the other hand, was the person that was very free willed and though he spent much of his time traveling, he would always find time to play with us. I never was one to become a royal or even act as one, but when I was chosen to become the wife of Franz Joseph I obliged only because of the fact that he chose me over my sister Helene. Life as the wife of a king was very hard for me. Especially with my mother-in-law who was as stern as my own mother, learning to become a diligent queen was even worse than strict rules I had to follow when being a princess. I had four children, Sophie, Gisela, Rudolf, and Marie Valerie. Sophie died when she was only two and Gisela and Rudolf were raised by my mother-in-law, therefore they grew up as disciplined, future leaders. The only child that I could say was my own was Marie Valerie. She was born after I left Vienna, when I found out about my husband’s cheating habits. Rudolf was the successor to our throne as he became Prince Rudolf of Austria. I was proud of all my children for having such successful lives, but I was always distant from them. Even my closest, Marie Valerie, could not fill the loneliness I felt in my heart. I wrote many poems, though they were not intended for any publication, only for my thoughts to be written on paper. The one thing that I especially enjoyed doing was to care for my physique. To maintain the small waist that I had, I endured many exercises and did not eat on many occasions. At the time, however, not eating and going through vigorous exercises didn’t seem like a disease. My body was already frail, but I was only making it worse. In a different perspective, my live would seem perfect and it probably was, but the pain of loneliness was one that I had to endure alone.
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